If you're a mom, you've uttered these words. Typically to our kids when we've had enough of their bickering.

Do you know who we really should be saying it to?

OURSELVES!

Enough is enough.

As high achievers, we always have goals ahead of us.

We reach those goals

Celebrate fro about 10 seconds

and then look for the next goal.

"It's not enough".

"I can do better."

Seriously ladies,

we have to stop this.

Enough is enough.

We can just decide

Because really

What is enough anyway?!

I spend enough time with my kids.

I have enough.

I am enough.

I will repeat it over and over

so you can see

that by embracing  what is

as enough

your life will be beyond belief.

Peace to you!

This tool helps you solve any problem.

In life, there are neutral circumstances (C)

We have Thoughts (T) about the C

Which creates our Feelings (F)

Which fuel our Actions (A)

Which then create our Results (R).

If something creates strong emotions for you, I suggest exploring all your subconscious/conscious thoughts about the circumstance by emptying out all your thoughts on paper (Thought Download).

You can take a thought and put it in the model to see what emotion it creates, what you do and don't do when you feel that way and what results you get.

Learning this helps you gain so much awareness on why you feel the way you do.

You can then learn to use the tool to deliberately create the feelings and actions and results you desire.

Best tool ever.

Nearly all the mom (including me) that I work with have said this at some point..." I want to yell at my kids less".

This is totally possible.

The key is not changing our kids into perfect humans but by exploring what our triggers are to yell.  We have created default neural pathways in our brain that create an automatic response.

Example: shoes all over floor causes frustration and we yell.

And then, to make things worse..we judge ourselves for yelling.

When we feel inadequate and ashamed, the cycle continues!

So, step one is to give yourself some grace...because beating ourselves up only makes things worse. I've practiced thinking " I'm doing the best I can" and do you know what? I show up with more patience and acceptance.  There are other steps to re-wire our default thinking and with practice we can have a whole new response to the same circumstance.

SUCH great news.

***If you'd like help with this, set up a free consult to learn more.  You can yell less. Reach...

This is an absolute game changer!

Whenever you want to accomplish a  goal....the key is looking at what happens BEFORE the action.

Goal examples:

*write a chapter of a text book

* yell less at kids

*speak more confidently at meetings

*exercise more

*improve your relationships

Whatever your goal may be...the KEY is thinking about how you want to feel in order to get there.

Powerful emotions or "fuel" to get things done:

Empowered

Certain

Determined

Loving

Assured

Confident

These awesome feelings don't just fall from the sky....you create them! Creation of feelings comes from thoughts that you believe.

For example, thinking the thought "I have important knowledge to share" creates a feeling of confidence.

Another thought "kids are messy sometimes" creates a feeling of acceptance.

From this "fueled" place you can take the actions you want to create your results so much more easily.

Give it a try.

What do you want to accomplish today?

What would be a great emotion to get it...

Being a mom has been the source of my truest joy in life...and yet source of so much struggle.  So many tears of joy and tears of frustration!

I fiercely want to be a great mama to my kiddos and I used to beat myself up because I would lose my cool or think that I should be doing more. I thought I was failing.

I finally learned that by giving myself more grace and realizing that I was doing the best I can...I showed up more present and calm and loving.  Funny how that worked..more love and kindness to me equaled more love and kindness to others.  AMAZING!

So to all of you MamaDocs out there that think you aren't doing it right or think that you should be doing better...I offer you to consider that you ARE doing it right...that you ARE the best mama for your kids. It takes work and practice but it is oh so worth it my friends!

I wish you love and laughter on this day....and hopefully at least 5 minutes of peace!!!

Life today is so different...and yet so much the same...as a month ago.

I still conquer Mount Laundry routinely...yet I am no longer washing school uniforms.

I still talk with patients and give them advise on their medical issues and concerns...yet I am doing it more often via telehealth.

I am still encouraging my kids to be kind and help one another.....yet I need to remind of this even less often ( if this isn't a miracle I don't know what is!)

I am still enjoying family dinners....yet there is no where to rush off to when it is over.

I am still coaching on feeling overwhelmed with work and parenting issues with teens....yet I am also now frequently coaching on thoughts about masks.

So much is the same...yet different.

I will leave you with a great question to chew on...How are things the same, or maybe even better than before?

Peace and love to all of you!

Wellness: A state of being in good health in body and mind, especially as a result of deliberate effort.

I have always been a fan of wellness.

This is why I went into primary care; I've been preaching it to my patients and my partners for years.  For a long time I was really good at taking care of my physical wellness but only recently learned how to care regularly for my MENTAL wellness.  I learned so much about my mind through life coaching that I became a coach so I can help other MamaDocs gain wellness in this area as well!

I recently attended an amazing conference on Women Physician Wellness (check it out...first week of Feb 2021 in Grand Cayman) and I got to see first hand 100 women who were giving themselves the gift of time to improve their health and wellbeing. And do you know what, the better we care for ourselves, the better we can care for others!

Dr Sasha Shillcut, author of Between Grit and Grace (I advise reading!) spoke and advised an...

Perfectionism is a thief and robs us of so much....

of enjoying the moment

of enjoying the journey

We wait to feel joy until the goal is achieved

but the result is never good enough

so we either fail to even try

or we keep putting off the joy until we reach the top of the mountain

but the destination always seem to get further away.

Perfectionism LIES to us and tells us that unless it is 100% perfect that we are not worthy

we have to prove our worthiness daily

through our clean homes

through our well behaved and well dressed children

through our finished notes and high patient satisfaction scores

and this is ALL A LIE

and we are exhausted

We are always chasing the next external achievement to feel better and meanwhile we are feeling crappy along the way.

While aiming to do well may have served us on our journey to become physicians, it is not serving most of us anymore. It is making us miserable.

in our work

in our relationships and

in life in general.

...

I used to be afraid to speak up and say that I was struggling.

I felt that my life was out of control and I was often overwhelmed.

I felt I had no ability to change things.

I felt stuck in my life  because of the " all the things" going on around me.

Do you know the best news?

I AM in control.

And I want you to know that too.

The simplest way to realize this is to separate out the facts of what is going on in a day from the story that I tell about it.

It takes practice and at first it can be challenging to do. But it is SO worth it my friends.

 **I want you to know that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE. You can start feeling better and nothing around you needs to change. REALLY....I didn't believe it until it started happening to me. If I can overcome overwhelm, so can you!

If you think a coach would help, please set up a free consultation.

You are 100% worthy...nothing you do or don't do today will change that.

Your thoughts are 100% optional....so good to know.

You are the one who decides how you feel about any situation.  Remember...circumstances are neutral. Our thoughts about them dictate how we feel.

 Life is 50/50.  Nothing has gone wrong here...the thoughts you are having and the feelings that you are having are NORMAL and part of the HUMAN experience. No one has joy and happiness all of the time and nor would we want to. 

Of course I don't want to do x,y,z ....my primitive brain wants to keep me safe and comfortable, but I am going to do it anyway.  This is how I take massive action towards my goals.

***Just a short list of my favorite reminders!  Little brain hacks that I like to keep reminding myself about! Hope they help you too!