You don’t need to wait for the system of medicine to be fixed to feel better
You simply need to know what you can control.
You’ll exhaust yourself trying to solve for external problems like the nursing strike, the patients on your schedule, the covid/flu/RSV trifecta, your kids and their behavior at school.
Trying to fix all of that before you feel calm is never gonna work.
The solution is so much simpler.
You can choose what to think on purpose about these external circumstances. You simply haven’t learned how to yet because they don’t teach you this in medical school.
But once you do it will feel like magic.
It’s really that simple.
That’s exactly what you’ll learn how to do in our 12 weeks together.
You’re a compassionate, hard-working doc.
And you work your ass off to do everything you can to be a great mom and wife too.
Basically, you’re a badass.
But right now, it doesn’t feel that way.
You love being a doc and a mom but it’s leaving you absolutely exhausted and with no time for you.
You knew that medicine would be tough, but right now it’s consuming your life.
You know you can achieve what you set your mind to, even if its hard. You went to medical school after all.
But figuring out how to enjoy this life and not work all the ding-dong time seems impossible
So instead of feeling like you’re actually doing a good job as a physician and a mom, your days go by looking like this:
It’s late at night and you’ve finally got your kids tucked in bed (shouldn't there be a damn award for that by the way?!!)
You’re exhausted and all you want to do is collapse on the couch with your partner and watch TV.
Alas, the stupid computer calls.
So much more work to do.
It never fricking ends. UGH!
So you sit beside your partner on the couch, “watching a show” but really you’re just finishing your notes with a large glass of wine nearby to lessen the pain.
When the weekend comes, you create a mammoth to-do list because that’s the only way to ‘get it all done’.
You hear your friends speak of yoga or a girls weekend away and wish your life was different.
Then you shame yourself for even thinking that way—"I’ve got a well paying job and a family and health…I’ve got it easier than my patients. I should be grateful."
And on the mornings when you finally DO go to yoga, you feel guilty because you think you should be spending Saturday morning with your kids.
You’re sick of always feeling behind, overwhelmed, frustrated and utterly exhausted
This is not what you signed up for.
You think to yourself, ‘how in the hell am I going to do this for another 20 years?’
Followed by, " I’m smart, so why can’t I figure this out?"
Hey, it’s not you. The thing is this . . . .
You’ve been trained to keep working even when you’re exhausted
You’ve been trained to just get up earlier and work harder in order to solve problems.
But this won’t work when it comes to your life.
It makes sense that cutting down your hours or trying out a million scheduling/time management apps hasn’t solved the problem . . . .
Because unless you address the brain issue—the neural pathways that keep you going going going because it never feels safe to slow down—your overwhelm will persist no matter what.
And this is REALLY good news.
Because it means . . .
You don’t need to control everything around you in order to feel better. You need to learn how to think and feel differently about work and being a mom
Finally, something that you can control.
When you change your brain in this way, you not only get to continue being a great physician and mom,
You’ll feel more invigorated, energized, grateful and present than ever.
And instead of spending all your ‘free time’ catching up on work, you’ll actually have time to hang out with your friends, your family…heck, even BY YOURSELF.
Wondering how I know this to be true?
Hi! I’m Michelle Chestovich, MD
I'm a mom of four and a family doc. I used to call myself the "Queen of Overwhelm," and I know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep at night thinking that you're failing at everything.
I tried all the things to feel better (I know you have too!): more sleep, more exercise, reading all the books, and of course, two date nights a month (because that oughta fix it!). All of these things helped . . . for awhile.
Finally, I hired a coach and began feeling less overwhelmed and more in control of my life. I later became a certified coach to help other physician moms.
I am a fierce advocate for physician wellness because I know firsthand the consequences of untreated burnout and depression. Unfortunately, I lost my younger sister, Dr Gretchen Butler, unexpectedly to suicide in March 2021. She was an incredible radiologist and even more than that, the most loving mom to her three young kids. Her death opened my eyes to the risks we face as women in medicine. I am committed to helping heal the healer through coaching.
INTRODUCING
Stress Rx for Physician Moms
Small Group Coaching Program
Stop feeling overwhelmed, find more guilt-free time for YOU and actually enjoy being present with your family
This group coaching program is the difference between waiting to enjoy your life when you retire and actually enjoying it now.
After our 12 weeks together you’ll:
- Learn what it actually takes to get your notes done at work so you’re not spending hours each night and each weekend “catching up” (the answer isn’t "more self-discipline" or "caring less")
- Figure out what the hell you actually WANT to do with all the time you create when you no longer bring work home with you (Yes. REALLY.)
- Change your relationship with yourself so you’re able to prioritize your needs and take time for yourself WITHOUT feeling guilty (sleep is NOT optional, my friend!)
- Learn to set boundaries without feeling like a narcissistic A-hole
- Ditch the resentment and frustration in your relationships and start remembering what you liked about your partner in the first place
- Go from feeling like you’re just surviving to actually having energy and enjoying your life
You’ll make these changes by learning the simplest and most powerful way to gain back control in your life…through your mindset.
These aren’t airy-fairy, nice-sounding affirmations. They’re the practical, implementable ‘inner work’ skills they never taught you in medical school.
And, as you learn and apply them to your life, you’ll feel like you’ve been handed the keys to the universe.
You don’t need to wait until the broken medical system is fixed, or until you retire, before you actually enjoy the life you’re living right now.
I want to join!
“I have brought zero charts home over the past 9 months. I was routinely working 2 hours every evening after putting my kids to bed and at least 4 hours every weekend.
I was miserable and felt like a robot. Now I am sleeping and exercising more. I am remembering what I like to do for fun and I am more present for my family and my patients.”
Dr Nicole V.
Here’s what shifts when you learn how to use your brain to work FOR you rather than against you...
|
Instead of… |
You’ll… |
|
Feeling miserable in your career you worked so hard for |
Actually find joy in medicine again |
|
Yelling at your kids all the time because you’re exhausted and frustrated |
Finally be able to ENJOY being with them |
|
Getting screamed at over and over by your inner mean girl anytime you goof |
Be able to call her out and show yourself the self-compassion you deserve |
|
Seeing the number of patients on your schedule and feeling nauseous |
Feel certain you can take great of your patients |
|
Receiving endless messages from patients that leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed |
Set boundaries and feel good about the fact that you are providing them with great care |
|
Feeling resentful and frustrated with your partner |
Start falling in love with your partner again |
|
Feeling offended by what your staff says |
Feel more confident about your own work |
|
Believing your brain when it tells you you’re a terrible mom |
Be able to access the belief that you’re a good mom EVEN WHEN your brain tells you otherwise |
Here’s what it takes to stop feeling overwhelmed, find more guilt-free time for YOU and actually enjoy being present with your family
#1 Gain AWARENESS of thoughts and feelings.
You’re not taught this in medical school neuro-anatomy, or any other class for that matter. And it makes all the difference in the world. You’re blaming the broken system for feeling bad, and while it IS broken, you can learn to feel better!
#2 Learn to ALLOW your thoughts and feelings.
It makes sense that we have many negative thoughts because of our training and how we've been socialized as women to "do it all." You will learn to allow emotions instead of avoiding and resisting (we docs are really good at this . . . shove those emotions down!). Don’t worry, it’s not all "touchy/feely." I teach you to allow emotions very objectively. SO darn cool and so darn helpful in our lives.
#3 ADJUST your thoughts and feelings, if desired.
Your brain loves to be efficient and therefore likes to think the same things on repeat. Although your brain has well-worn neural pathways to annoyance and frustration, we can teach the brain new tricks and new ways to respond. It takes some practice (and maybe some nerding out with notecards) but its not med school hard. You will learn simply the best tool to help us through life ever.
Throughout our time together, you’ll hone your ability to follow this simple, powerful process, time and time again.
And as a result, you’ll finally exhale and feel in control.
Even when everything around you is not.
"I feel less anxious at work. There's no longer a pit in my stomach when I look at the schedule. I am direct and kind with patients and staff."
"Hesitating?
Just do it! I'm still hearing phrases Michelle used come out of my mouth on a day to day basis; either in self talk, patient care or speaking with colleagues. I feel like I was given tools and a template to enjoy life more. It's progress daily."
The Scoop on Stress Rx Coaching Program...
Weekly calls:
- This is a 12-week coaching program
- We meet on Zoom weekly at 7 pm central time
- We begin Wednesday May 8th
- Each coaching session is approximately 1.5 hours
Topic of the week:
I share a short lesson at the beginning of our weekly session. During the program, we cover a range of topics such as perfectionism, people pleasing, how to get your notes done faster, and how to find more guilt-free time for you.